Alternate D
by Bardiel the 13th
Summary: What would happen if this happened?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.**

A/N:Story line is taken from 'Rebuild of Evangelion', not the tv anime.Why?Because in 'Rebuild of Evangelion' the characters are introduced much much earlier.How early you ask?Well the first movie of 'Rebuild' which is a four part movie series.Is pretty much ep.1-6 with new designs and dialogue, and at the end of it, Kaoru is introduced.And in the tv series he was introduced like, 20 eps later.Plus the Evas look WAY cooler.Oh yeah, and OOC.But only in the name of random humor!

**At the Katsuragi residence**

"Misato..., do we HAVE to DO this?", groaned Shinji.

"Of course!You guys have to start getting along some time.Why not now?", said Misato.

"Because we hate each other!!", yelled Asuka.

"I agree major.This is pointless", whispered Rei.

"But that's why we're here!If you guys don't start getting along, I'll shoot each of you in the foot!", threatened Misato.

"Fine!!But you have to get rid of gayzilla over there", pointed Asuka.

"Hey!Don't drag me into this!I'm only here to watch!", reasoned Kaoru.

"Sorry Asuka no can do.Gayzilla stays and that's that!"

"No dammit!I'm just here to watch!"

"Save it Kaoru, they'll never listen to you", said Shinji with a depressed look.

**Elsewhere**

"We shouldn't mess around down here Ikari.We could break something", said Fuyutsuki with concern.

"We never do anything fun, we always just sit around and look angry.Besides, what could possibly go wrong?", said Gendo.

As soon as he said those words he tripped and smacked his face against a big red button that said DO NOT PRESS.

"Uh oh.What the hell is this button for?"

As soon as he said THOSE words, a huge surge of energy rippled throughout the city causing major blackouts and busting streetlights.The masive surge of energy did have another effect however.It went straight for the Katsuragi residence.

**Back to our heroes**

"What the hell is going on?", asked Asuka.

"I donno.Maybe Misato forgot to pay the light bill", said Shinji.

"No, I paid the bill already"

"That's what you said last time", said both Asuka and Shinji.

As that sentence finished, lightning shot out from the lightsockets and struck both Rei and Kaoru in the stomach.

The lightning poured it's energy into their S2cores, filling them over the limit.

"Aaaaaaah!!I-I feel like if I'm gonna explode!!", yelled Kaoru in pain.

A little black colored spot started growing in Kaoru's chest, it grew and it grew until it swallowed all of them up.

**A few hours later**

"Ugh...What the hell happened?", said Shinji in a high pitched voice.

As he stood to check on his friends he said THESE words.

"Son of a bitch..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.**

**Katsuragi residence**

"Son of a bitch...", said Shinji in a shocked voice.

"Wh-What?What's that Shinji", said Misato in a deep-ish sleepy voice.

"Argh, now I know how Misato feels after a night of drinking the hard stuff", said Asuka in a deep-ish voice.

"Wake up you idiots!!Something very wrong has happened!!", shrieked Shinji.

"Damn!We get it.By the way, you sound like a girl", said Kaoru waking up.

"So do you, you stupid bastard!!"

"Can there be just one day were I don't get bashed for being gay?", asked Kaoru.

"All of you!!Look in the mirror, at the people next to you!!Something really bad happened!!", yelled Shinji.

"Fine you broken record.I don't see what all...the..fuss...is-WTF!!", yelled Misato deeply."What's going on?!"

"I don't know!", responded Shinji.

**A few minutes later**

"Ok guys, we need to calm down and figure out how this happened", said Misato.

"I think I have an answer", said Kaoru."Remember the lightning yesterday, well I think that it was so strong that it damaged time and space itself.And in order for time to fix itself it replaced the damaged area.Which was here.With one from an alternate universe.Which means that the 'us' from this universe are now the 'us' from our universe and vice versa"

"What a bunch of bullshit.What are you, mega scientist?", taunted Asuka.

"Yeah, you fucking loser!", laughed Misato.

"Alright guys we have to find a REAL answer", said Shinji pointing at Kaoru.

"Were we the only ones affected", said Rei in monotone.

"Uh?...I donno, let's go check", said Misato as she opened the front door.

**Somewhere at NERV**

"Oh my head...What the hell happened?", said Gendo getting up.

"I told you that we shouldn't fuck around down here!You need to control those impulsive urges to do stupid shit!Now who knows what damage you've caused this time!", yelled Fuyutsuki.

**En route to NERV**

"No one else seems to have changed.I saw Touji back there, and he looks normal", said Shinji.

"You know what's wierd?He didn't seem to notice the differance", said Asuka.

"You know what else is wierd?WE don't seem to notice!!I-I mean, I don't have a dick anymore!!", yelled Kaoru in frustration.

"You never had one!", responded Asuka.

"Shut up you stupid bitch!", yelled Kaoru.

"What Kaoru meant was that the people around us didn't notice that we s-"

"Look", said Misato as she interupted Shinji."NERV is right around the corner-"

"Like your mom!", interupted Asuka.

-SMACK!-

"Ow!Tha-that actually didn't hurt much", said Asuka.

"Anywho.We'll just head over to NERV and Ritsuko will check us out", said Misato.

"Nah, she'll be too busy checking out Maya", said Asuka.

"Why can't you just keep quiet, for like a fucking second?!", yelled Kaoru.

A/N:Uh? Um? Ignore it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE...Or do I?...Hmmn?Interesting...**

**At NERV:Ritsuko's office**

"Ooooh!Take it easy, that place is sensitive", said Ritsuko.

"Sorry senpai", said Maya.

"Just rub softly".

"Like this?"

"Ooooh yeah", said Ritsuko trying to surpress a moan.

**Behind the door**

"The fuck are those two doing in there?", said Misato.

"Ha!I told you!"

"Shut it Asuka.They might hear us".

-door opens-

"What the hell are you guys doing", commanded Ritsuko.

"I think the real question is, what the hell were YOU doing?", taunted Misato.

"I was giving senpai a neck rub, she's been very stressed lately", said Maya.

"Maya, shut up", said Ritsuko.

-Maya starts to cry and runs away-

**Ritsuko's office**

"What do you need from me Misato".

"Beer mone-"

"Stop thinking about beer!This is important!", shouted Asuka.

"Dr.Akagi, do you notice anything _different_ about us?", asked Shinji.

"No.Why?Did you get a hair cut?"

"No.Anything _else_?"

"Did you get a tan?"

"No.You don't see _anything_ different", said Shinji sounding a little frustrated.

"Nope, I give up.What is it?"

"God dammit!!How can't you tell that our g-"

-BOOM!!-

"What happened!", yelled Kaoru.

"Oh don't worry.It's just commander Ikari fucking around with dangerous equipment again", said Ritsuko calmly.

"Since when does he mess around with dangerous equipment?", asked Shinji.

"Since forever.Like yesterday, he pressed a button that made the whole city blackout".

"That's mander Ikari is a total stiff, and he hates everyone, even Shinji", said Asuka.

"What the hell are you talking about?That man is more hyper than a child on crack.And he loves Shinji, maybe a little _too_ much.Hmmn?", said Ritsuko.

"What do you mean by that?", asked Asuka.

"Everyone knows that he thinks Shinji is a great piece of ass, but no one talks about it".

"Wha-what?!", said Shinji astonished.

"No fucking way!That's the funniest shit I've ever heard!Your dad wants to rape your ass!", laughed Asuka.

"N-no...That can't be r-right".

"I would've never guessed that commander Ikari was gay", said Misato.

"Gay?Why would he be gay?What's so gay about wanting to fuck his-"

"Hello people!", said Kaji as he popped in.

"What the hell are YOU doing here Kaji", said Misato sounding pissed.

"I'm just here to see my favorite lady", said Kaji as wrapped his arms around Ritsuko's waist.

"I've told you before Kaji I'm NOT your lady", said Ritsuko as she tried to push him off.

"The fuck Kaji?What about me?I thought I was your lady", asked Misato with hurt in her voice.

"Hmm", said Kaji as let go of Ritsuko and made his over to Misato."Listen Misato.That night in college was a one time thing o.k.I was just curious, it will never happen again", said Kaji nervously.

"B-but, we had sex just last week", said Misato with a tear in her eye."I thought we had something special!!".

-Kaji flinches-

"You weren't supposed to say anything about that!", said Kaji with emberassment in his voice.

"Now THAT'S gay", said Kaoru.

A/N:Gay just radiates off this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.**

A/N:Not a crossover!!

**Ritsuko's office**

"Now THAT'S gay", said Kaoru.

"Considering that Misato is a man, I would say that this is VERY gay.But if Misato was a woman, like his name implies.It wouldn't be that gay.But it still would be a tiny bit gay seeing as how Misato has been a man all his life, and even if he was turned into a woman we would still remember the old Misato by calling him a him instead of a her, even if he now was in fact, a woman", said Ritsuko."And vice versa".

-hint hint-

"Fucking FINALLY!That's what's been bothering us!Our genders have been switched around!Misato WAS a woman, just like I was a boy, Asuka a girl, Kaoru a boy...well, sort of, and Rei a girl!!", yelled Shinji.

"Huh?That's impossible.But that _would_ explain your names.Hmmn?Maybe if time and space itself was damag-"

"Don't even try to explain it to them.They won't listen, I tried already", said Kaoru.

"Then to make it more understandable.I believe you all came from a similar universe where only your genders were different".

"That can't possibly be the only thing that changed.What about commander Ikari?He's totally different now", said Asuka.

"Well, maybe many things have changed for you guys, but I was already in this universe.So the only thing that's changed around here, is the way you guys are".

"Unless we find a way to return to our universe-_gulp_-We'll have to adapt to our new bodies", said Shinji.

"You hear that fagface?Now that you're a girl you have a good reason to like dick", said Asuka through a big grin.

"Well that may be, but, (kicks Asuka in the nuts) at least I have a way to hurt you now", said Kaoru though an even bigger grin.

-Asuka falls to the floor-

"I guess being a man can't be too hard", said Misato.

"What about me!!It's gonna be super hard being a girl!!", yelled Shinji.

"Shinji, this is like, every boy's dream.Now that you're a girl you can do all sorts of things to yourself", said Kaji as he put an arm around Shinji."ALL sorts of things ".

"I-I never thought about that", said Shinji with a blush.

"Same goes for Asuka and Rei.Now that you're boys, you can experience the wonderful world, of oral sex", said Kaji.

"A-awsome", grunted Asuka from the floor.

"Kaji!That's highly inap-"

-Bell rings-

"Saved by the bell", said Kaji as he dashed out of the office.

"What's the bell for?", asked Misato.

"Huh?You don't know?That bell is the end shift bell", said Ritsuko.

"WHAT!!We get off work at (looks at watch) 4:00 in the afternoon!!", yelled Misato in disbelief.

"Uh, duh.We alwa-Oh yeah I forgot that you guys are from a-You know what?Let me take you guys on a tour of NERV to see if anything else if different".

**Around NERV**

"This is the NERV 5 star restaurant, which sits right under the NERV 5 star hotel and resort", said Ritsuko as they walked by a HUGE restaurant.

"What!!Why the hell does NERV need a fucking restaurant and hotel?!", asked Misato.

"Well.How else are we supposed to get extra money?We can't rely on the government for EVERYTHING.If we did, they might get tired of giving money to us, and they'll probably send wave after wave of men to take us down".

"R-really?Then thank god we got sent here", said Shinji with a sigh.

"That means that the people in our NERV are going to die...", said Rei in monotone.

"Rei, what the hell is wrong with you?You're so quiet and unemotional.You used to be so happy and full of life", said Ritsuko conserned.

"I have always been this way".

"I don't know what commander Ikari did to you in your universe, but it must've been bad".

"_Hmmn?Something doesn't feel right_", thought Kaoru.

**At another area in NERV**

"And through these doors (opens doors) is NERV's very own mall!".

"Oh my goddess!!This place is huge!", exclaimed Misato."What do you sell here?".

"Everything from shoes to cars to Eva action figures".

"Wait?Eva action figures?Why would you sell those?Evangelions are supposed to be top secret", said Asuka.

"Huh?Why would we keep them a secret?They save the world, people love you guys.You're like heroes to them.Even if you haven't actually fought any angels".

"What did you say?", asked Shinji.

"Nothing nothing!".

"Hey, how come that store over there is selling hentai figures of me and Shinji?", asked Kaoru.

"Well, some people love you a little too much".

"B-but we're underaged".

"This is Japan.Our most famous porn star is only 11 years old.Do you think being 14 is gonna matter?".

"This place is fucked up", said Kaoru.

**At yet ANOTHER area in NERV**

"This is NERV's hospital.As you can see, it is very big and provides us with 10 star health care".

"Ooooh, that's a lot of stars", said Misato."In our NERV, the hospital's so cheap that they can't cure a simple runny nose".

"Your universe was a piece of shit".

"Well that may be, but something still doesn't seem right to me", said Kaoru.

**At the Eva cages**

"Here are the Evas.I'm sure nothing is different here, correct?".

"Well, yeah.Nothing's different here", said Misato.

"Good, because up ahead in the custimization room-"

"Custimization room?The hell is that?", asked Asuka.

"It's the room where you can custimize your Eva, plug suits, wepons, and buy new parts for your Eva".

"DUDE!!YES!!That's awsome!", yelled Shinji in joy."Fuck our old universe this one is WAY better!".

"What's even better about custimization is that you can up-grade your Eva to a new more powerful model.And if your Eva gets destroyed, or if you don't have one, you can just get another one.And no, this area is NOT open for the public".

"Woah.I agree with Shinji.This place is much better than our old universe.But still, hmmn?", said Kaoru.

**Back at Ritsuko's office**

"Well guys, I hope you enjoyed the tour.But I din't get to show you everything.So, any questions?".

"Um, how many angels have we faught so far?Because in our universe, we've already faught like (counts fingers) 15 angels", said Shinji.

"Fifteen!Damn!We've only faced two angels so far".

"WHAT!!YOU MEAN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALL **AGAIN**!!", yelled Shinji in anger.

"Well, not exactly.He he.You see-_gulp_-There's more than 15, way more.And the first two came together, so we asume that the remaining angels will come in partners as well-"

"NOOOOO!!", yelled Shinji as fell down and started crying.

"I knew this place was to good to be true", said Kaoru with a depressed voice.

"Great!Just fucking great!What else are you gonna tell us!That Godzilla and Gamera are real and we're gonna have to fight them too!!", yelled Asuka in fury.

"Uh?..-"

"Oh my god!!They exsist here!!", yelled Asuka wide eyed.

"Um, not just them, but also a few other monsters", said Ritsuko nervously.

"How the fuck do they exsist!!", yelled Misato.

"Well, some time ago.Some crazy scientist guy created them because he loved the movies so much.If he had created them like in the movies, the Evas could easily defeat them.But, he made them super strong.So model after model of Eva has been made fight them".

"This universe is fucking retarded!If this was some type of fanfic, it would lead me to believe it was some type of crossover with Godzilla and Gamera.But then the writter would assure his readers that it's not a crossover with Godzilla and Gamera, and that he just included those monsters as a way to make the story longer and funnier!", yelled Shinji.

"Wh-what?The hell did you say?That little speach you made, has absolutely NOTHING to do with what we were talking about", said Asuka."You're just fucking stupid".

"I don't know what came over me.I'm sorry".

-BOOM!!-

A/N:Not a crossover!!By the way, if you don't know who Gamera is.Just search him up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.**

**Ritsuko's office**

-BOOM!!-

"What the hell was that?", asked Misato."The commander?".

"No.NERV is closed for the day, remember.No one should be in the buildi-"

-alarm klaxon-

"Oh my god!An angel!We didn't expect one so soon!", said Ritsuko in panic.

"How long has it been since the first two angels?!"

"About two years-"

"WHAT!!Two years!In our universe angels would pop out every couple of months!", yelled Misato.

"That's good then.You guys have enough experience to finish off this angel quickly", said Ritsuko with hope in her eyes.

"Wait a minute!If this is the third angel to show up, then we're gonna need that shield!", said Shinji.

"You're right!This one shoots off lasers", said Misato."Alright Shinji, get into your Eva".

"Why?It's just gonna shoot me like it did the first time".

"We don't know that for sure.For all we know the fifth angel could be extremely strong, or extremely weak".

"Fifth?In our universe this is the sixth angel", said Ritsuko.

"What?!This world is so different!", said Asuka.

"Hey, I didn't notice before but.Our Evas look kind of different", said Shinji.

"That doesn't really matter Shinji!Just get out there and fight that god damn angel!", yelled Misato.

**Outside**

"Uh?Misato, that's not the angel", said Shinji from inside his Eva.

"Hey.That's that angel that's super weak.What's his name again?M-Ma-t-a-"

"Matariel", said Rei.

"Oh yeah, we kicked that giant spider's ass last time", said Asuka.

"That's great!That means you can get rid of it fast, right?", said Rituko.

**Unit 01**

"Of course.I can kick this thing's ass with just a pellet gun", said Shinji as he ran at it.

Shinji begins running at Matariel with pellet gun in hand, that is until Matariel shoots the fuck out of him with a positron cannon that shot out of it's eye.

"Aaaaaaaah!", yelled Shinji in pain.

-silence-

**NERV hospital two weeks later**

"Mmmm, that feels good", muttered Shinji sleepily.-moan-"Yes ke-Wait what the fuck!".

"Uh?!Oh!Um?!Bye!", said Gendo as he ran out of the room.

"What?"-gasp-"He was touching me!", yelled Shinji in realization.

Shinji looked at his body and noticed that his new girl nipples were erect and sensitive.

"What the fuck is wrong with the female body?!Wait!-deep breath-I have a girls body now", said Shinji as pervy thoughts clouded his male brain.

**En route to Shinji's hospital room**

"Maybe we'll tell him later.He must really want to kick that angel's ass by now", said Misato.

"No!I want to rub it in his face-"

"Asuka you're so naughty", said Kaoru with a smile.

"Yeah Asuka.Just because you have a '_you know what_' now doesn't mean you get to do what ever you want with it", said Misato with a wink.

"That's not what I meant!", said Asuka as they arrived at Shinji's room.

"Yeah yeah whatev-"

-moan-

"What the hell was that?", said Misato putting her ear against the door.

-ooooh-

"Is-is that moaning?", asked Asuka also pressing up against the door.

Asuka and Misato both leaned up against the door, but forgot that they are now male.Thus heavier.The door popped open and they both fell in.Oh, Rei is with them as well.Just really quiet.

-gasp-"What are you doing in here?!", yelled Shinji, quickly hiding his bare chest with his arms.

"W-were you pinching you nipples?", asked Misato from the floor.

"N-no!".

"Oh my god!You were touching yourself!", exclaimed Asuka while getting up.

"So Shinji.It seems you've fully accepted the fact you're female now", said Misato with a smirk.'Your nipples are so hard, you can almost see them through your arms".

"Oh yeah.Look who's talking", said Shinji slitting his eyes.

"What are you talking about?", asked Asuka as she looked down at her body and Misato's body.

What Misato, Asuka, and Rei didn't realize was that their new male bodies reacted to the sight in front of them.Because they used to be girls, they don't know how to control their male bodies.So all three of them just stood there with tents in their pants.

"Oh shit!", said Misato trying to cover up.

"Why won't it go down!", yelled Asuka trying push it down.

"Hmmn", muttered Rei not even bothering to hide it.

"The least you could do is cover yourself", said Kaoru looking at Rei.

"Why".

"Um?Look down".

As Rei looks down her eyes become wide.

"This has never happened before", said Rei with a tiny blush.

"Wha-Oh my god!!I get it!When you were a girl and you got turned on you didn't have to hide anything!", said Kaoru as he fell down laughing."But now you do!!".

-Rei glares at him-

**A few minutes later**

"What happened after the angel shot me?", asked Shinji.

"We just did the same thing as the first time we fought the angel.Got the shield, the gun, all that stuff", explained Misato.

"It hurt like a total bitch though", said Asuka.

"I've been thinking.The third angel you should've fought is supposed to shoot lasers.And the angel you did fight is supposed to be really weak.I'm guessing that if a different angel appears instead of the one that's supposed to appear, then that angel will have the abilities of the angel that's supposed to appear.Understand?", explained Kaoru.

"Ah dammit.That sucks balls", said Shinji looking depressed.

"Not as much as he wants to", said Asuka pointing at Kaoru.

"Dammit Asuka!How many times must I do this!", yelled Kaoru.

"Do what-".

(kicks Asuka in the nuts again)

-thud-Asuka pukes-

"Nice", said Rei monotone.

A/N:You can just imagine the pain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.**

**The next day at the Katsuragi residence**

"Um?Do we have to go to school?", asked Shinji from the kitchen.

"Yeah", answered Misato from the couch.

"But we don't know how the 'us' from here acted", said Asuka from the dinner table.

"Well?...We could ask Ritsuko to fill you in", responded Misato.

**Half an hour later**

"What do you want Misato?I have work to do", said Ritsuko after arriving at the apartment.

"Asuka and Shinji need to know how they used to act at school", said Misato.

"They, actually were about to start school".

"Why?".

"They just arrived here".

"What?Then who beat the first two angels two years ago?".

"I don't like remembering this story.It's the reason why Shinji and Asuka don't have their mothers anymore".

"Oh.They were the first pilots of unit 01 and 02, huh?".

"Yeah.Back then we didn't know much about angels, and 'they' lost their lives protecting us", said Ritsuko looking away trying to forget.

(This Ritsuko isn't cold-hearted)

"I see.Then we better not tell them this.'Their' mothers died a completely different way back home".

"I understand".

**Later**

"So?Did she say anything?", asked Shinji as he came out of his room.

"Uh?S-she said that you guys were about to enter school".

"What!", exclaimed Asuka.

"It's a good thing.This means that you guys can start fresh from the start".

"I guess", said Shinji.

**En route to school**

"You know what I've noticed?Misato doesn't suck at driving anymore", said Asuka from the backseat.

"Hey!That's not nice.But yeah, I got better at driving some how".

"It's because you're a guy now.Most guys love cars", said Shinji.

He's right you know.Some guys love cars so much that they become great drivers.Looks like Misato still needs to get used to her new body.Which by the way, I didn't get to describe.She is now a six foot tall man.Same hair, except in a ponytail.Kind of built for the average man.Same clothes as before, except in man size, instead of a black skirt and heels, it's black pants and army boots.She decided to wear earings, earings a man would wear.Oddly, the same sports car, which is too small for her.Think of it as switching good woman looks, for good man looks.And instead of huge tits she has a hude d-

"We're here!", said Misato as she did a crazy parallel park and then climbing out of her tiny car.

"Way to make an entrance Misato", said Shinji as he climbed out.

"Yeah Misato.Everyone is looking at us now", said Asuka who was the first one out.

"-gasp-It's Misato Katsuragi!", yelled a few of the girls that were looking out of the windows."And the Eva pilots!".

"It feels wierd having girls falling for me instead of boys", said Misato."Kind of creepy".

"Just don't flirt with them.Or anyone for that matter.If they see a grown man flirting with teenage boys and girls, you'll be arrested and jailed for a long time", said Shinji.

"Dammit!I used to love the double standard as a woman, but as a guy I see just how bad those really are.It's just not fair.As a guy I can't do anything anymore!If I flirt I get 5 years in prison and get marked as a child molester, but as a woman I get off with a warning.Guys really do have it hard in life", said Misato looking depressed.

"Would you get the hell out of here!You're emberassing us!", yelled Asuka.

**In class**

"I would like to introduce two new students to our classroom", said their nameless teacher."Asuka Soryu Langley and Shinji Ikari".

"Hey.I think you mixed up their names", said a random student.

"Actually.Those are our names", said Shinji.

"That's messed up", said another random student.

"Yeah well what're you gonna do about it", said Asuka getting angry.

"I didn't mean to insult", answered the student.

"You better not.I'll kick your fucking ass!", threatned Asuka as testosterone rushed through her blood.

"Control yourself Asuka", whispered Shinji looking worried.

"You want some of this you little bitch!", yelled Asuka raising her fist at Shinji.

**After school**

"You there.Eva pilot", said Touji.

"M-me?", asked Shinji knowing full well that Touji was about to kick his ass.

"Yes you.I got something to say to you".

"Just make it quick", said Shinji closing his eyes waiting for the pain.

"Here it comes", said Kensuke who was looking at his camera.

-thud-

"Oh thank you, thank you!", said Touji from the ground."If it wasn't for you my sister would've gotten killed!".

"What?".

"My sister would've gotten hit with the angel's laser, but your Eva blocked it".

"Oh, well.Thanks?".

"I owe you so much", said Touji as he started crying.

"He really does", added Kensuke.

"Is there anything I can do for you?Anything?", asked Touji.

"Well, maybe you two could be my friends", said Shinji.

"What!!You want us to be your friends?!Yes yes god yes!", exclaimed Kensuke at the thought of being a hot girl's friend.

"That would be great", said Touji getting up.

I didn't describe Shinji either huh?Well, he got a bit shorter.His hair style resembles that of his mother.Big shiny blue eyes.Nice curves.C cup.An all around good looking girl.When not in school he wears a short sleeved navy blue t-shirt, tight fitting black capris, and black 1.5" thick comfort sandals.Let's face it, that school uniform sucks.

"Then come on.Let's hit the arcade", said Shinji with a big smile.

"Alright!", yelled Touji.

"He he, she said 'come'", said Kensuke.

**Elsewhere at school**

"Wha-what do you want?", asked Hikari with fear in her voice.

"Huh?I just want to ask you something", said Asuka.

"Please...don't rape me".

"What?What makes you th-"

"Alright.I'll suck your d-"

"Hey!!I just want to ask you something!".

"No please.Don't rape my ass".

"Hikari stop!What's wrong with yo-"

"Alright.Do my ass, but I won't enjoy it", said Hikari as she pulled down her panties and bent down.

"DUDE!!STOP!What the hell is wrong with you?!", yelled Asuka freaked out.

"Please, don't play with my nipples", said Hikari as she ripped off her shirt and bra.

-SMACK!!-

"Y-you hit me!", said Hikari astonished.

"I hit you because you were freaking out".

"So, you aren't gonna rape me?".

"NO!!"

"Damn".

"What was that?".

"Then what do you want?".

"I wanted to ask you something".

"What is it?".

"Do you want to be my friend?I don't have anyone else here".

"Neither do I.Alright, I'll be your friend".

"That's great!".

"As long as you promise not to rape me".

"Could you quit it with that!!".

I also forgot to describe Asuka.What's wrong with me today?Anywho, she got a few inches taller.Same hair but in a ponytail and longer bangs.Good muscle mass for someone that age, but not too much.Darker blue eyes.When at home she wears an black muscle shirt with a fireball design on the back, black pants with flame designs on the legs, and some army boots she got from Kaji.Unlike Misato, she wears her pants OVER her boots.Now that she's a boy she can't go around in a yellow sundress now can she?The original male Asuka liked heavy metal and knew how to play guitar.

"Please don't lick my clit", said Hikari through tears as she opened her soaking slit with her fingers.

"NOT AGAIN!!".

A/N:I'll try to give the characters from this universe human like behavior, that includes the original Asuka, Shinji, Misato, Kaoru, and Rei.And if you say 'Hikari's behavior ain't human like', you'll be surprised just how many strange fetishes lonely girls develop.You might never know just what turns on a lonely girl.Maybe the smart quiet girl in your class likes to have her nipples bitten.'Ouch' you say.No shit that hurts, that's why it's strange.And that's why it turns her on.**Remember what I say, if they don't complain, they like it.**Unless complaining actually happens to turn them on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.**

A/N:It's gonna start to get wierd.I'm serious.

**Kensuke's house the next day**

"Hey Ken", said Touji.

"What?", asked Kesuke from his bed.

"You got anything to drink?I'm really thirsty", said Touji.

"Yeah me too", said Shinji looking away from the computer screen.

"Let's check the fridge", said Kensuke.

**The kitchen**

"Let's see", said Kensuke as he opened the fridge door."There's some period blood, some horse cum, my grandma's piss-Sunny D alright!", said Kensuke taking out the bottle.

"Great!I love the taste of orange juice and baby medicine", said Shinji.

"Being the only drinkable thing in there doesn't mean it's good.You just compared it with a bunch of nasty stuff", said Touji."Why do you have that stuff in your fridge anyway?".

"Fine we'll drink my grandma's piss then", said Kensuke as he took out that bottle.

"That's all I'm asking", said Touji.

**Later that day at Misato's apartment**

"Misato.I understand that you're not used to having a male body, but you don't have to call me for every little problem you have", said Ritsuko looking annoyed.

"It's not a little problem!", yelled Asuka.

"Ritsuko.Me and Asuka have been getting...these urges...to hump stuff", said Misato blushing.

"You're just a little horny.Might I suggest masturbation?".

"You don't understand.These urges are really REALLY strong", said Asuka.

"How strong?".

"Well.This morning we both woke up on Shinji's bed with really hard erections.It's a good thing he didn't wake up", said Misato.

"I don't remember ever even waking up to go there", said Asuka.

"That is serious.Well Misato, you need to have sex.And as for Asuka, I suggest a lot of masturbation".

"I can't do that!Masturbation is a sin!", yelled Asuka.

"I'm VERY sure that didn't stop you when you were a girl", said Ritsuko with a smirk as Asuka blushed.

"Well what about me?I need sex, but with women", said Misato with a look of disgust.

"It doesn't HAVE to be women.You can still do a man, but you'll ridiculed as a person", said Ritsuko.

"What?!Why?!If I was a lesbian woman, everyone would love me!You're saying that if I'm a gay man no one would like me?!".

"Duh?You should've known that already.You don't need to be a man to know that".

"Yeah Misato.What are you, stupid?Look at how we treat Kaoru", said Asuka.

"Oh yeah.I forgot.I need to cut down on the hard stuff".

"You've been drinking beer?", asked Ritsuko.

"Yeah, I always do".

"You have to be careful.As an alcoholic man you can become overweight, violent, stupid, and possibly lose everything you own".

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!", yelled Misato through tears."Yet something else I took for granted as a woman!!Being a man is HELL!!".

**The next day at NERV**

"You want an Eva", said Ritsuko.

"Yeah.I don't have one for some reason", said Kaoru

"The old you wanted to take over the world, so, yeah".

"I still want to take over the world".

"Alright.We'll need to test you in order to choose the correct Eva".

"That's fine with me".

**Later**

"Start the sync on my count Maya", ordered Ritsuko.

"Yes ma'am!".

"Alright Kaoru.I need you to relax your muscles and concentrate your mind".

**Plug**

"You got it", said Kaoru as he closed his eyes.

**Back again**

"Alright-now!".

"Starting sync!", yelled Maya.

**Plug**

"_For here.Am I sitting in a tin can.Far above the world.Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do. Though I'm one hundred thousand miles.I'm feeling very still.And I think my spaceship knows which way to go.Tell my wife I love her very much_".

**Again with Ritsuko**

"Stay quiet Kaoru.You need to focus on the eva, not music", warned Ritsuko.

**Plug**

"_Here am I floating round my tin can.Far above the moon.Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do_".

**-Deep sigh- Ritsuko again**

"I said stay quiet".

**Plug**

"_Ground control to major Tom.We've lost you_-"

**Again**

"Shut up dammit!!".

**Plug**

-Silence-

**Ritsuko**

"Finally".

**Plug**

"_THIS IS MAJOR TOM TO GROUND CONTROL!!_", sang Kaoru very loudly.

**Rit-Forget it**

"God dammit!!".

**Misato's house**

"Alright Asuka.If for any reason you feel the need to, uh, 'jack it'.Then do it in here", said Misato as she pointed to the laundry room.

"Uh?Why the laundry room?".

"Where else would a guy do it".

"How about in the privacy of their own room?!".

"Well SORRY for not being the smartest person in the world!".

"What the hell is wrong with you?!Ever since we got here you've dumbed down to the I.Q. of a brain dead jellyfish!".

"Do jellyfish have brains?".

"NO!!THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT!!", yelled Asuka as she jumped on Misato and started kicking her ass.

"Aaaaah!Stop Asuka!".

"I'll kill you!!".

"It's not you it's the testosterone!!Learn to control it!".

"I can't!", yelled Asuka with tears in her eyes as she continued to beat Misato.

**Rei's hell hole**

It was a clear day outside.Perfect for going out on a walk, maybe even do some window shopping.Get a little snack, head to the arcade, beat the high score on Pac-Man, but only one of three people could give less of crap about the day.That person is Rei.Rei was raised as an emotionless fuckdoll.So it was natural for her to not care about fun things, like going to watch a movie, or buying some new video games to play.No, Rei didn't care.She just sat there.On the shower floor, letting the water fall on her thick hair and broad masculine shoulders.She just stared down, watching, waiting, until-

"Damn.It won't go down", said Rei in quiet frustration.

Yep.The only 'thing' Rei actually cared about that particular day.She had a raging erection.It didn't start off that way, it was originally just an average 'making sure it still works test' that every male goes through hourly.She thought that pushing it in would fix it, but she was using a pumping action that only made it worse.So she 'came' to the conclusion that touching it in any way would only make it worse.Yep, so she just sat there staring at it, remembering that her original genitalia didn't cause so much trouble.Remembering how smooth it was, how plump the outer lips were, how pink the inner lips were, the sweet smell of her arousal when ever it happened, the soft creamy skin, and yet she still wonders why it won't go down.What a stupid bitch.

"The shower doesn't help either.No use in sitting here wasting water", said Rei getting out.

**Meanwhile**

-caugh-caugh-

"Oh my god!That was disgusting!", yelled Shinji as he ran down the street to the home of the nearest person to Kensuke's house, Rei."Drinking his grandma's piss was a horrible idea!".

-caugh-caugh-

"Touji finished it all and I had to drink the Sunny Delight!It was horrible!!I need water!", yelled Shinji as he continued to run.

**Rei's house**

Rei decided to give up on the shower idea.It just wasn't working, so then she started thinking about how she can make it go down instead of her old self.And what do you know, it started going down".

"Finally.It was becoming a bothe-"

"Ayanami!",yelled Shinji as busted in."I need some water please!!", asked Shinji before accidentally head butting Rei knocking them both down.

Very similar to how it happened in the anime, except Rei was on top this time.

"Hmn?", muttered Rei noticing that she was groping Shinji's newly developed breasts.Involuntaraly squeesing them a few times.

She noticed how similar Shinji's new body resembled her old one.Without thinking she started to remove Shinji's clothing to see just how much alike they were.She was so into it that she didn't notice that Shinji was staring right at her with a puzzled look on his face, furiously blushing, and shaking with fear and excitment.First, Rei removed Shinji's shirt and bra, then his capris, panties, and just stared.Stared at his whole body before leaning in and inspecting his breasts.She touched them, groped them, pinched his sensitive nipples, then moved down his body dragging her fingers across it until she got to the bottom.She sniffed the air around it.The scent reminded her of her old scent, the sweet smell of arousal.The scent was driving her crazy with thoughts of sex.She didn't know how to control powerful the male urge to mate.No longer curious and now driven by lust she continued to touch Shinji.Touching the skin around his new womanhood.Parting the outer lips with her fingers, she leaned in, the scent was stronger, the juices that caused the smell were dripping onto the fingers holding Shinji open.She wanted to smell more of the scent, she wanted to see more of the intoxicating juices that were driving her hormones haywire, she wanted to...taste them.Breathing heavily she slowly lowered her head even more, stuck out her tongue and anxiously awaited the sweet taste that every man craves.Her erection was back again, and throbbed painfully in anticipation for use.Shinji wasn't any better off.At first he was in a type of shock until he too gave up sanity in return for mind clouding lust.Intense liquid fire was building up within his lower belly, begging for release.He wanted-needed Rei to do what every man, woman and child think about on a daily basis.The tip of Rei's tongue was about a mere 3cm from entering into Shinji before his fist came into contact with Rei's face.

"W-we can't do this", said Shinji in a shaky voice.

"What?", asked Rei snapping out of her stupor.

"Don't act like you don't know.We were about to do something really bad".

"I-I'm sorry", said Rei quietly remembering what happened."I could not control myself.The urge was too strong".

"U-urge?".

"The urge to mate-"

"Well well well.Would you look at this", said Ritsuko from the other side of the tiny room.

"I-it's not what it looks like!", yelled Shinji as he covered his body.

-sniff-

"By the smell of things I'd say you're lying.It smells like sex in here".

"NO!!Nothing happened!", yelled Shinji franticly.

"Regardless.I found both you naked talking about 'mating', and I must report it to your respective guardians".

"Please don't!!", cryed Shinji.

"I'm sorry Shinji but you can't just ignore something this serious.Put on your clothes, both of you.You're coming with me".

A/N:Woah.Got carried away.And yeah, if you're a guy that's experianced the sweet taste of a woman.You'll relate to this.

**OMAKE**

Intense liquid fire was building up within his lower belly, begging for release.He wanted-needed Rei to do what every man, woman and child think about on a daily basis.The tip of Rei's tongue was about a mere 3cm from entering into Shinji before his hands pushed her face in.Rei started to wildly eat Shinji out.Shinji moaned loudly as he reached his first orgasm as a girl.Rei ate up every drop, that just drove her even crazier.Her erection was much too painful to leave alone any longer.She flipped Shinji into a 69 position in order to continue shoving her face into Shinji.Shinji on the other hand shoved Rei's throbbing member in his mouth and instinct took over.He completely forgot about being a boy once and focused on his current job.The new pleasure drove Rei over the edge, she started to suck the clit and started fingering Shinji.Shinji almost passed out, but if he had, he would have choked on Rei's release.He didn't even think about it and just swallowed it.Rei's new male mind couldn't take it anymore, she flipped Shinji on his back and started to ram him furiously.Being deflowered didn't matter in this situation at all.The odd thing was, this wasn't about love or caring.This was the human body burning with the desire to reproduce and live on.They might've not known it, but their bodies sure as hell did.They continued the sex for about half an hour until they both passed out.Unfortunatly Ritsuko got the whole thing on tape after deciding against stopping them.Up to this day they continue to be her personal slaves of blackmail, doing anything from buying candy to performing sexual pleasures.Yep, Ritsuko lucked out on this one.


End file.
